Ethan’s doing his homework and Fiona is nearby. His task is to find Australiana words for each letter of the alphabet. He’s at “S”.
Fi: can you think of a big Australian City beginning with “S”?
Ethan: Scamberra.
Fiona: Nope.
Ethan: Spazmania!
Fiona: Nope.
Ethan: how about “U”?
Fiona: hmm. OK. What’s that gigantic rock out in the middle. Of Australia ? The famous one.
Ethan: The UltraRock?
Me: Lucinda, what’s an example of a disease?
Lucinda: Weasels.
Paul Pettit took the girls along to their swimming lessons last week. Thanks Paul! The swimming instructor gets a surprise around 22seconds in!
Audrey: A Big Salami hit Sri Lanka and some people died but its ok now.
Me: What happened?
Audrey: The Big Salami came when they were sleeping and lifted them right up into the coconut trees but its all ok now.
We just found out that, at school, Lucinda has been singing “Australians versus Ostriches” as the first line of National anthem.
Dad: When you grow up and work, Ethan, what will you be looking for from your work?
Ethan (instantly): Money, and thousands of people shouting my name out.
Ethan came back to school after a week and a half off in Far North Queensland. When he entered his grade three class, they were all very excited to see him back, and there was a lot of hugging.
“That was nice”, says Anthony, his grade 2 class teacher.
“I always make time for my fans.” says Ethan.
I know! But I swear every word of this is true.
Barbara says that all family albums are the same, if you squint a bit – “trip to the beach”, “Christmas”, and so on. If she’s right, I think “child with bucket on head” is part of the canon.
Blame this one on my genes, not Fiona’s!
Audrey put her dacks on her noggin for a laugh.
In case you were wondering, God is Dead.
Ethan: God is Dead.
Uncle Graeme: “Why do you say that?
Ethan: God is a spirit, right?
Uncle Graeme: Yes.
Ethan: Well, spirits are what are left after you die. Right?
Uncle Graeme: Well, yes .. but ..
Ethan: And, the Devil RULES. I mean, he’s got Zombies, Evil spirits, Vampires, Demons, Devils … What’s God got?
Uncle Graeme: well ..
Ethan: Angels. What are they like? They are like dolls, with wings. Baby Dolls. So, who will win?
Uncle Graeme: (weeps quietly)