Grade 2: It’s brutal out there

Man, its tough for boys out there in grade 2. In 10 days, Ethan has:
* been in a fist-fight,
* had a door slammed into his face, splitting his lip and loosening teeth (pic),
* been kicked in the eye, with resulting li’l shiner
* had a cut across his throat (he did ask for it – literally asked his friend Max ” can you get that giant branch, and make a scar across my throat?
* skidded & slipped on asphalt, ending up with a 1.5 inch square dressing on his knee.